When I’m going through my log book it looks like we’re lost in time with the same cold, rain, grey sky, and pale ocean. Even the latitude position of the boat stays the same; 56 South for weeks now. Every day looks the same and brings similar conditions. Whatever I do every morning we’re still in the Southern Ocean at 56 South. The boat is on starboard tack, it’s cold and wet, – its ‘Groundhog Day’!

No ships, no birds – I’ve seen only one albatross during the past week. The horizontal landscape is depressing. As an artist I learnt a lot about the human eye and vision. We people need to see natural bright colours - green, yellow, blue – this gives us a positive impulse and raises our mood. Here in the Southern Ocean the main colour is pale grey and its not very inspiring. The vista is hungry for colours.  

I have to fight an ‘everything is OK’ attitude –‘it might be OK with this sail trim’ – ‘it might be OK for iceberg look out’ – ‘I’m OK, I’m not hungry’ - and so on. I understand that the sails need to be re-set and I’ve not checked for icebergs for two hours. Normally on short distance races you would never allow a compromised sail trim but on a long and cold voyage like this every movement requires motivation. It’s not only sail trim - I have to force myself to cook something hot. From my previous experience I know that the body is trying to switch into a hibernation regime to save energy but we have a long way to go in similar or worse conditions and we can’t just let things get out of control and drift. It reminds me of Everest, the ‘Dead Zone’, above 8,000 meters where your oxygen starved brain tells you that everything is OK and your Will pushes you up (or down) and wont let you sit down as you may never stand up.

In the conditions we are in now big muscles won’t suffice – ‘stamina’ and ‘endurance’ – these are the essentials for long distance solo sailing and I hope I have enough of both.   

I know that we need a change and the best change would be to round Cape Horn. Such an achievement gives a boost and energizes your mood. Unfortunately we are progressing painfully slowly to the tip of South America with a damaged main sail, light winds, and the same big swell we’ve  had now for four days.

I planned that I would be in the South Atlantic Ocean ten days ago. The fact that we are not there is pressuring me. I know that a new ocean will bring new emotions and my only goal is to get to the South Atlantic as soon as possible. We are still sailing away from Albany but once we cross longitude 62 West we will be sailing towards Albany. Every mile east will bring us home. It’s the best motivation. We’re now in the middle section of the Antarctica Cup Racetrack just before ‘half way’. This is the point of maximum stress and appreciation of just how difficult the route is. Best Regards. Fedor”. 56,13.70S , 85,42.35W   

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